This is truly incredible and I’m so glad to have read it. I had a similar childhood and really relate to all the ways it affects you, and how that can be a superpower but it also has a real cost. For me it’s the chronic self sufficiency that becomes toxic and isolating. The part I related to the most was the part about how a story you can narrate is one that won’t ambush you. I realized several years ago that I was great with being really honest and open about my experience and life - but only once I had already wrapped it all in a bow. Real intimacy? That was letting someone into the process as it happened, and that felt impossible. It’s been a lot of work on that and real change has happened, but it’s still a difficulty for me!
This article was a beautiful self reflection and I loved it. Thank you.
Chronic self sufficiency… I feel that in my soul. The intimacy issues only seem to get worse as I age. I’m not sure why that is. I’ve only started realizing just how cold my childhood was—something I have only seen since raising my two boys. Their childhoods are filled with love and laughter. <3 I am very blessed to create that experience for them.
I have seen a similar thing for my brothers especially - they have made very conscious choices to be very different men than our father and give their children very different lives where they never have to question whether they matter or are loved. Watching them do that has been extremely healing for me! I’m so happy to hear it has been true for you, as well!
This is truly incredible and I’m so glad to have read it. I had a similar childhood and really relate to all the ways it affects you, and how that can be a superpower but it also has a real cost. For me it’s the chronic self sufficiency that becomes toxic and isolating. The part I related to the most was the part about how a story you can narrate is one that won’t ambush you. I realized several years ago that I was great with being really honest and open about my experience and life - but only once I had already wrapped it all in a bow. Real intimacy? That was letting someone into the process as it happened, and that felt impossible. It’s been a lot of work on that and real change has happened, but it’s still a difficulty for me!
This article was a beautiful self reflection and I loved it. Thank you.
Chronic self sufficiency… I feel that in my soul. The intimacy issues only seem to get worse as I age. I’m not sure why that is. I’ve only started realizing just how cold my childhood was—something I have only seen since raising my two boys. Their childhoods are filled with love and laughter. <3 I am very blessed to create that experience for them.
I have seen a similar thing for my brothers especially - they have made very conscious choices to be very different men than our father and give their children very different lives where they never have to question whether they matter or are loved. Watching them do that has been extremely healing for me! I’m so happy to hear it has been true for you, as well!
Nice piece Jacob. Very enjoyable.